Community - Matthew Saw

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STEP is over. All things on this earth eventually come to an end, and STEP was no exception. As the programme drew to a close, we were asked to prepare a short letter to our church leadership, telling them about this programme and all that we had taken away from it. In it, I reflected that my greatest takeaway from this programme was the sense of community that had erupted amongst us, the participants. We started as a ragtag group of lay leaders from various Presbyterian churches, and now, we are a community, having had a common experience for 3 weeks. After this, many small projects and side groups will erupt. Some will succeed, some will fail. Deeper relationships may form, and we will talk about them. We will be invited for talks, hang out sessions, and all sorts of other get-togethers. Some will come, some will fall away, but we will always remember. When we see each other in our churches, in serendipity, and in heaven, we will reminisce about our time in STEP. We are more than a group of interns. We are a budding community, waiting for nurturing.

Pastor Kuo Yung from Katong Presbyterian Church (my church!) came to tell us about the missional church. His vision of the missional church was one that lived God’s intended life for His people. This church would be a community, a shining light on a hill that cannot be hidden, and the world will see Jesus in the love the community has for each other (John 13:35). He shared in some detail the struggles the church had to go through to reach this state, and I saw a side I never got to see in my formative years as a Christian in my church. He shared about how a conflict in the church divided many among us. Amidst the harsh words and painful exchanges, combined with changes in leadership, we effectively burned down. Out from the ashes rose a stronger group, determined to not repeat the mistakes that brought them to their knees. We decided to become a stronger church. We formed five core values that we practice and live by together, and grew in love for one another. Then God began to add to the community, by sending them people in need, people who worship other gods, and people who were spiritually bankrupt saw that light, and were attracted to it. I think we too will go through the same.
 

As STEP interns, many generations of future interns will come. God will continue to add to our number, as we repeat this programme. He will shape us and refine us with fire. Not all of us will want to be associated with STEP. Conflict and calling may divide us. Some of us will go to distant lands to serve God, leaving us to pray in waiting. However, through common experience and common belief in Jesus Christ, we will always be united. My prayer is for us to not give up meeting together, not give up serving together, and not give up relating to one another. I pray that we will become an inter-church community so bright, that other members of the body may see, and realise that there is a greater unity to be found. One that does not just exist in dreams or visions, but one that exists right now. One that builds up, nurtures the next generation, and that is outward looking enough to serve others and our own church as well. I pray that God will not let go of this community, that we will be used by Him to build up His body, that His body may reach the world together. Faith and community are symptoms of a greater thing, the great God that gathers to save.

Matthew Saw

Lukewarmness - Matthew Saw

This reflection will be short and sweet. Strangely, I did not arrive at this reflection directly through the STEP programme, but it was something that God revealed to me about myself. I hope this counts. 

On the night when a Cabinet Minister came down to speak to us, I had a dinner appointment which I had made months before. The problem with that appointment was that it was supposed to begin at 6. The Minister’s meeting with us was scheduled for 7:30. As such, I would have had to rush from Jubilee to my dinner appointment, then back again. I was at a loss.

Wisdom, I learnt, is made up of 3 components. The first is the Bible, the second is the community, and the third is the Holy Spirit and reflection. We need input from all 3 in order to say that we have treated something with wisdom and consideration. Therefore, I attempted to consult all 3. I realised that going for either would have been acceptable. Experiencing the Minister’s wisdom and experience would have been extremely valuable, however so would have been the fellowship with my brothers and sisters in music ministry. Breaking a promise would be bad, having given my ‘yes’ months ago (Matthew 5:37). Torn between two commitments, I took the diplomatic, Singaporean route to try to satisfy both parties by making a compromise. I decided that I would go for the dinner with my friends at 6, and leave at 7 to be on time for Mr. Gan’s appearance.

Upon arriving at the dinner, because of late parties, we ended up ordering only at 6:30.  Since it was a steamboat, having to wait for the water to boil, I only managed to take my first bite at 7, finishing my plate of food only at 7:30. As I was preparing to leave, amidst fierce resistance from my friends there, the ministry leader said something that stuck out from all the clamour.

“Matthew, if you leave now, you’ll be late. You should stay, leaving this dinner halfway and being late for the next one is being lukewarm.”

Although I knew that he was not referring to what the Bible says about lukewarmness (Revelation 3:16), that statement stopped me in my tracks. I knew that he was right, that I was being unfaithful to both STEP and my friends in treating my commitments to them in this way. Because of my attempt to be committed to both, I ended up being half-hearted. As I reflected on my way back to Jubilee, I realised that the same pattern had been showing in my life. In trying to be faithful to all my commitments and responsibilities, I have ended up being unfaithful to all of them. Because of that, I have built a reputation of being unreliable in church and among friends. My grades are suffering, and in attempting to make time for my hobbies, I have neglected my spiritual commitments.

Finally, I realised that I was being lukewarm in my relationship with God too. I was using all my busyness as an excuse to hide my lack of discipline in pursuing the wisdom of the Bible. The Minister said something at his session that I thought was related.

“If you truly have a heart to serve, you wouldn’t wait till you go into politics to do it. You would have started already.”

If I truly had a heart for God, I would have pursued Him with all my heart, soul, mind and strength, leaving everything behind, seeking first his kingdom and righteousness, letting Him decide which commitments should come first (Matthew 6:33). If I truly had a heart for God, His Word would already be first in my life, not all the other things.

I remember giving someone close to me an advice. I said that “commitment requires sacrifice.” I hope that I will be able to live out that statement, and sacrifice all to know the surpassing greatness that is God.

Matthew Saw