What Is God's Will For Me? - Changzhong

Kuik Shiao Yin’s journey as an entrepreneur seeking, step by step, God’s plan for her, has inspired me. In some ways, it echoes my own life’s journey, where our lives are slowly yet certainly steered by expectations and ambition towards a corporate life of stifling suits, under the glare of fluorescent lights. 

I really admire her ability to discern God’s call to her, and the sheer courage that she displayed in taking up that call, and struggling so valiantly even when the weather turns stormy, and the waters grow choppy.

I gleaned two questions from her journey that I can use to decide mine. 

1.    What is God’s call?

2.    If I discern His call, will I heed it?

The bible says that His sheep can discern the Good Shepherd’s call. In my own life, I have been fortunate in the sense that I have many options, but the problem is that I have yet to discern what God has in store for me. Yet for me, this is not too troubling, because I believe that as long as I seek, knock and ask, He will reveal His ways to me eventually.

What troubles me is, when I figured out which door to open, and it is not a door that I like, will I open and walk through it? This is my greater struggle, because honestly, I do not think that I will be able to humble myself and ignore my own ambitions, taking up a job that commands less pay.

Yet Shiao Yin mentioned a few things that have helped strengthen my resolve. First, that it is better to live life on the water, instead of one that is in the boat, because it will strengthen our walk with God. Essentially, a life of faith and trust, not fear. I do think that this is an easy concept to grasp, but a difficult one to practice. Nevertheless, it makes sense because we are after all, Christ followers, and if His command to me is to take the road less travelled, then my rejecting it will be akin to rejecting Him. That is something I will never want to do.

Secondly, Shiao Yin told us that to rejoice is a choice and that we can choose to embrace the situation instead of struggling against it. Pastor Kuo Yang, in a discussion I had with him, also mentioned that if the going gets tough we can simply choose to embrace the pain and suffering. This ability to choose does not originate from ourselves, but from Christ in us, who has triumphed over pain and suffering, and has allowed us to partake in that victory as well. Furthermore, when we start sinking, as Peter did, the Lord was there, to fish him out. 

I believe that as long as we follow Jesus with a pure and contrite heart, only goodness will come out of it.

While the experience has changed my thought and perspectives, whether I will be strong enough to carry it out, I do not know. 

Only Christ can tell.

Changzhong

Action - Changzhong

It is the last week, and the theme for this week was the “Commissioning”. Throughout the week, the various speakers spoke with one voice, which really reinforced their one message: God’s work on earth is Mission-centered.

This reaffirmed my understanding that God’s Mission is not merely about evangelism. Sure, evangelism is the Great Commission, and there is a definite need to make disciples of all the nations. Yet if the bible is ALL ABOUT Mission, then surely there are other areas that God has His sights on, too.

One useful reference I have was a talk by Christopher Wright on the 5 marks of Mission, Evangelism, Teaching, Justice, Compassion and Creation care, grouped into 3 categories of Serving society, Building the church and Creation care. These 5 marks can be seen embodied in Katong Presbyterian Church’s values, which Pastor Kuo Yung’s shared during his talk. 

The implication of this is that the conventional understanding of Mission as evangelism is misplaced. Instead, a holistic understanding of Mission is required, where emphasis must be placed on the other 4 aspects of Mission. Only then, can we fully partake in God’s Mission. Of course, few have the talents and resources to pursue all five aspects of Mission, yet the entire picture must always be kept in mind.

A revelation that I have gained this week originates from Pastor Andrew Choo’s short sermon at Onesimus farm. There, he had three simple points, with one provocative conclusion: See, Hear and Do, the greatest of which is DOING. This is not anything new; where I have heard many times that ‘faith without works is dead’. Yet I now gained a greater understanding of what being a Christian is all about. Everything, and I mean every aspect of our lives as Christians, is all about putting into concrete action everything that we have learned. Everything must be seen through the lens of action. Everything must be pursued with the sole focus on eventually putting it into practice.

This revelation that Mission is about doing, coupled with my reaffirmed understanding of what Mission is about, has led me to conclude that as Christians, our focus in life should be to ACTIVELY serve society, build the church and care for creation. For me, that is a realignment of perspective: That I cannot be content to stay within my bubble and convince myself that passively learning is alright or that doing should be reserved for another day. Doing should start today, at this very moment, and continue until the day He calls me home.

As the Minister of Health said, as the Good Samaritan DID, we must likewise DO for anyone, regardless of who he/she is, and regardless of whether we receive any reward or recompense. As Jean Chiew shared last week, we DO, not because of any positive outflow of emotion, but because it is our duty as Christians. It is our calling. If we are to glorify God, we are to DO His work, and fulfil His Mission.

Till that day, I will strive to do what needs to be done.

Changzhong

Counselling – When Love Creates Unlove - Changzhong

"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?" (Jeremiah 17:9)

Preacher Gideon’s talk on counselling was very eye opening. He outlined the 4 steps that we have to consider carefully, in counselling others. We are to love, know, speak and do. The importance of the first two steps was illustrated by the short exercise of him posing as a pastor who seeks counsel, and the rest of us participants were put on 20 seconds rotation to counsel him. This exercise was very realistic, as it accurately depicted the fast paced nature of counselling, where the counsellor does not have the luxury of time to phrase an answer.

I found his emphasis on ‘Love’ and ‘Know’ when speaking others especially helpful, because oftentimes, in my haste to be of help, I do not actually help them. It is funny, isn’t it? How bad motives can taint good objectives. 

Preacher Gideon’s example was exactly on point, where he posed as a pastor who wanted to be so good that he became bad, because in doing everything himself, he forgot to rely on God. In trying to help the people around me, oftentimes, I allow my arrogance and pride to seep in and taint everything. 

Love means an invitation to them to change and reflect, instead of a dictation of how they should live, where I impose my presumptions, my own world view, and my assumptions upon them. What John Calvin said, that Preacher Gideon reiterated, is so true: The heart is deceitful. It coaxes me into believing that I am right, that what I am doing is justified, when I am simply slipping further and further from who Christ is.

Once again, this brings me back to the foot of the cross. There really is not much good in us. Even that little good is stained by sin. We are so fallen, so totally depraved. But then, all the more we need God. 

It is wondrous, really, that as I progress through STEP, I come to realise just how hateful I can be, and that growing realisation simply motivates me to approach the cross with greater contrition, and greater abandon. There is nothing to lose, and everything to gain.

Changzhong

Evangelism - When Does Order Create Chaos? - Changzhong

The visit to Ministry of Home Affairs' Heritage Center made me realise, more now than ever, how fragile a multi racial society is, and how the slightest insensitivity can trigger social chaos.

Reflecting on recent times, although public sentiment is not as easily incited, in that people no longer resort to rioting or physical outbursts, a carelessly thought statement, or a view that infringes on the rights of others will not go unnoticed. This is especially so for the homosexual issue, where various churches and pastors have been heavily criticized over social media for their opinions.

These reflections have made me realise that in Singapore, in this world for that matter, a Christian will face many difficulties in fulfilling the great commission. To my knowledge, Christians are the most intentional in the spreading of their faith. Every church I know has an outreach and missions arm, and this is increasingly emphasized, as the world grows dimmer; as human decency slips and wavers.

Yet as we share, we do not always practice sensitivity, and oftentimes do more damage instead. This defeats the point of evangelism, which is, in my opinion, to provide a testimony of how Christ lives, and to spread the good news of His love and salvation. Instead, by attempting to order a chaotic world, we create more chaos instead.

Admittedly, that line is difficult to tread, and we risk either doing too little and retreating from outreach, or going too far, with the result that we step on the toes of others. This is a difficult issue that I continue to wrestle with. I think that there is no ‘one size fit all’ solution, because every Christian shares the faith differently, and every non-Christian receives the faith differently as well. 

Broadly speaking, I think that, to be effective testimonies and out-reachers, we must ultimately love, not just in the outward expression (the way we evangelise), but deep down in our inner most heart (how we feel towards those who have yet to receive Christ).

For what we are will be reflected in how we act.

Changzhong

What Does It Mean to be a Christian? - Changzhong

During the game of Bola-Bola, there were many instances where we had shown sportsmanship. Some of us chose not to focus on winning and instead, to play in the name of fellowship and to have a good time. Others took it even further, by displaying graciousness in allowing their fallen opponents to stand before continuing, and by being more restrained when faced with a weaker player. This was observed by the instructor, and he commended us for our right attitude.

However, there were other moments where we were especially aggressive to the extent that an instructor remarked, “Is this a church?”

This was a paradigm example of our lives as Christians. The issue of being the salt and the light in the world has always weighed on my mind. On one hand, we are free from sin, where believing in Christ and accepting His offer of salvation has severed our ties with sin. We can thus show God’s glory in our lives by resisting modern culture, such as turning the other cheek whenever we are offended, or choosing to reject the paper chase and focus on treasures in heaven instead, or in our situation, showing sportsmanship.

On the other hand, we ultimately live in an imperfect world; in a world of sin. Thus, just like non Christians, we are also susceptible to Sin’s seduction. Oftentimes, it is difficult to discern that someone is a Christian by simply observing, because their words and conduct may not reflect Christ-like behaviour. If the only way people can discern our faith is by asking us, I think that there is something fundamentally wrong. Perhaps this was us when we chose to be aggressive.

I think this observation raises two points. First, it is that even when Christians show exemplary behaviour, sometimes all it takes is one of a few bad sheep to cast the whole flock into disgrace. That one black sheep can easily turn others away, and cast Christ into bad light.

Second, that black sheep can be any one of us. We live in a world of conflict and chaos, and it is indeed difficult for us to always be exemplary and shine Christ’s light into the world. Oftentimes, our fallen nature shows itself and blots out Christ’s glorious sun. Thus, we have to always be introspective and mindful of our own behaviour, to not undo others’ good work, and worse, to portray Christ negatively.

Then again, musing over my reflections, I note one crucial thing, possibly the most important thing. While we have conquered sin when we accepted and acknowledged Christ’s salvation over our sinful natures, our continuing fallen natures show that we need Christ’s protection and blessings all through our life and not just at the moment of our acceptance. It is an ongoing struggle; a fight to continually pray and seek His goodness, to triumph over sin’s seduction and power.

With Christ, we can.

Zhuang Changzhong

Other Internships & STEP - Changzhong

We need Christ tinted lenses to see

The world for what it is.

We need Cross shaped lenses to discern
The person I’m to be
The world behind, I take that STEP
To perfect my lenses, to set my sights.

I entered STEP with many reservations. As a university student, the summer holidays that follows the end of year 2 is especially crucial. It is the time when people scramble for internships to boost their CVs and to gain an appreciation of how various other firms operate. All of these are geared towards increasing their chances of securing a job, and ultimately, to pave the way for their future. As a young student who seeks a comfortable future and raise a family, my concerns were no different.

Therefore, when my pastor added me into a WhatsApp group to encourage a group of us to join STEP, I was very reluctant. I told him that I will only accept the offer if I fail to secure any internships for that period. At that time, I had applied for two internships for that period, and I was dearly hoping that I will be accepted.

However, as the Lord plans, I failed to secure either internship. I could either apply for more, or simply accept STEP. Given that I had given my word to my pastor, I accepted STEP. Yet it was with a heavy heart, for there was much fear and trepidation residing deep within me. My June and July had other important plans, like planning for church camp and a module that starts early. May was thus the best option for any internships. Without it, I will be going through my summer with 0 internships, when my peers have going through at least 2, and even up to 4 internships.

Even on the first day of STEP, I was still conflicted as to whether my decisions were for the best. Seniors I spoke to had on one hand, assured me that participating in internships was not a decisive factor. On the other hand, others told me that internships do make a difference.

What comforted me, however, was the Synod Moderator’s opening address to us. Rev. Philip’s words resonated with me when he told us that he was aware of the importance of internships during the holidays. What especially assured me were his following words: that it was by far the wiser choice for us to seek not our own glory, but the glory of God’s kingdom, and that participating in STEP was the wiser choice.

Now, having enjoyed 2 days of STEP, I have no regrets. The Lord has blessed me immensely with such a warm group of friends and such an enriching and meaningful program. My future is uncertain, but that is no cause for concern…

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matthew 6:33-34)

Zhuang Changzhong