Thus I'll Move And Live And Grow In You And You In Me - Sarah Tan

STEPers at the STEPs.

Firstly, all glory and honour goes to God, the One who make all things possible. Thank You Lord. 


And then many thanks to Pr. Joshua for the email where I was gladly introduced to STEP, for without it, I would never have had the opportunity to venture into such a meaningful journey. These three weeks flew by really quickly and seeing the programme come to an end feels so surreal and sad. I must say that I certainly have enjoyed my time in STEP. 

STEP has caused me to yearn for an even deeper and intimate relationship with God, to learn a great deal of theological matters and to make new (and definitely amazing) friends. STEP has also gave me great insights into theologies and issues that I have never put much thought into as well as revealing an overwhelming amount of things I have yet to discover. But with that, it has sparked in me a desire to want to find out more. Undoubtedly, it has made me feel so small because our God is just so great and mighty! 



One major takeaway from STEP is that God can use me, just a speck in the universe, so unnoticeable by many yet so important in His Eyes. Just how great is our God! It is definitely amazing experience God working in my life and that He reveals Himself to each and every individual differently. I have come to clearly see that God has placed amazing people in my journey as advisors, whom I very much need. In light of this, it has aligned the path I am threading on into a certain way in which I believe will lead me to what He has designed for me to do here on Earth and ultimately, into His Kingdom. 



I believe that all of us would agree that STEP was fantastically planned and well organised. We have had many amazing speakers from all walks of life, all with different backgrounds, yet speaking so in sync when we speak of our awesome God, looking towards Him and focusing our discussions and lessons on The One and Only. Undeniably, we have much to thank Pr. Joshua Woo and Pr. Willy Lau for believing in us and playing the largest (humanly possible) part in making STEP so successful. As well as to Joshua (Lee) for capturing all the beautiful memories that all of us have shared together! 



As we were graced with a wonderful celebration on Friday night, Matthew led us in the final song "The Summons". Honestly, I have sang this song many times yet the lyrics never spoke to me quite as loud as it did that night. And so will I go when He calls my name? Will I go where I don't know and never be the same? As the words flowed out from my mouth, all that filled me was a silent cry, a silent cry in submission to Him.


And if I can steal a sentence to sum up the burning desire that STEP has convinced me of, it will be this; Thus I'll move and live and grow in You and You in me.

Sarah Tan

Go - Sarah Tan

The final week of STEP was centred on one word - Go.



I have initially drafted out a few thoughts on the idea of serving but as I type and pen my thoughts on this reflection paper, something hits me (incredibly) hard.



I am currently (it's Friday now) into the second day of helping out at the SonQuest Rainforest Vacation Bible School (VBS) and today's Bible story was on the parable of the Good Samaritan. I am, then, humbly reminded of the sharing by Pastor Andrew at the Onesimus Garden. As he brilliantly puts it; We see, we hear, we do. 



I believe I have often been found guilty for the absence of the last element in this trio.  I am many times just like the Priest and Levite! That I see, I hear, but I walk away. Just as Rev. Lam Kuo Yung have enlightened us that God Himself is the "Missionary" and we are involved in the "Mission of God", we should be like the Samaritan! We have seen, we have heard, now it is the time to GO, to get out and partake in God's mission! 



We are all called to "GO" into different arenas in order to be part of His Mission. It is important to be sure of God's calling for myself and to be prayerful about it. Honestly, although I may not be clearly certain of my calling as of now, but I believe, as a Cabinet Minister casually remarked, that if God calls you to do it, He will open a door for you. If not, He will close the door. And if the door seems shut, and yet it is God's Will for you, He will push you through the door. I felt that it was rather heart-warming to be reminded that when God calls you and I to GO, He will make a way for us. 


Despite the different roles we are made to play in this world, the attitude that we should have as Disciples should be the same. We are to reflect the characteristics of Jesus as we embark on God's Mission. A song by Casting Crowns rightly puts it; "And I pray that they will see more of You and less of me." Ultimately, I believe that the light of Christ will, should and must shine through us as we go forth and do what we are uniquely called to do.

Sarah Tan

Am I Too Dumb - Sarah Tan

"Am I too dumb?"

I stepped into the second half of the second week of STEP with much anticipation and yet as I type in this otherwise blank document and reflect on the past few days, I am filled with a cocktail of inferiority and, slowly but surely, comfort. 



In this reflection paper, I will not be sharing on what I have learnt from the talks but rather, some things that The Lord has impressed upon my heart as a result of the talks.



The talk on Christianity & Science was one that I was really looking forward to, for I have came across many conversations and heated debates regarding this topic during my General Paper lessons in Junior College. As the talk on went on, I must admit that the hope of being able to understand all that was being expounded on slowly faded as I was not able to catch up. Honestly, I felt that it was getting too deep and beyond what I was capable to comprehend. Feeling intimidated and overwhelmed by the eloquence of others, I thought (bluntly) to myself, "am I too dumb?". 



This question then stuck on with me for the past three days but as I pen this in the minds of strangers and doubters alike, I am brought to this question - What lies have I been bought into that have made me gave in to inferiority? 



Undeniably, we each have our own set of strengths and weaknesses. We cannot run from the latter. But what was revealed to me was the very fact that God has created each and every one of us differently. I am special in my own way, the 'Sarah way'. I may not be good in grasping theological ideas quickly but I learn to make it up by doing my own research, findings and to understand them slowly on my own. And I think it is so amazing how God has made me realise this by myself during my own Quiet Time this morning, before I embarked on writing this reflection. 



There will be, and have been, many times when I doubt myself if I am qualified, if I am even good enough, if I am ready to go whenever and wherever He calls. But as I conclude the past two amazing weeks in STEP, I have learnt that as long as I acknowledge, seek and trust Him and His Sovereignty, I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. Although it may be a difficult discipline to instil especially when times get too trying and negativity clouds my view, but I am bent on working on it. There will then be no space for inferiority and doubt in my life.
 

The boat is shaken,
and the waves are strong.
But Lord of all,
I will fix my eyes
on You

Sarah Tan

Heart of Worship - Sarah Tan

Worship should propel us into greater obedience.

"If you cry during a worship, does it mean that you are a more 'hardcore' and faithful Christian?", a non-believer friend once asked me. 

I remembered how poorly I answered him that day, with the lack of better knowledge and confidence. Not only that, I recall questioning myself - 'what exactly is worship?'. 



This week, we were enlightened on the topic of the Theology of Worship by Rev. Tan Tiong Ann. With that, I must admit that due to my deficiency in the proficiency of the Chinese language, I will provide my best attempt in conveying what I have learnt in the paragraphs to follow. 



Putting it in Rev. Tan's words - "Worship is a divine human encounter" and that we are to worship God according to who God is and who we are. Honestly when he said that, the thought about how big and great our God is and how small I am really struck me. And that is why worship needs to be first and foremost reverent. 



The other idea that was revealed clearly to me is that worship is both an attitude and an act. It is not just merely singing the songs or listening to the Word, but also the state of our hearts and mind as we come before a Holy God, so full of love, power and sovereignty. 



The question then is, how much of this 'attitude and act' is present in our worship? 



Honestly, I must admit that I have been guilty of the lack of the former. Sometimes, we come to worship with heavy hearts, filled with many worries, fears and burdens. Distraction then steals the limelight of which we give in to. But we must remember that our God is able and that we can cast all our cares upon Him! Then should we not come to Him in worship with thankfulness and gladness in our hearts? A healthy state of mind, a heart yearning to learn more about God and the desire to encounter Him will then lead us to have the right attitude during worship. 



As we keep in mind His Reverence and the condition that we should be in as we come before God in worship, I believe it will ultimately help us to develop a more intimate and deeper relationship with Him, a better understanding of what He is revealing in our lives and for us to respond in submission.



So in my best understanding of all that is said above, I came to a conclusion (I really am not sure if it is too big an assumption to make) that worship should propel us into greater obedience, and if it does not then that is not worship.

Sarah Tan

Importance of Theology and Ever-Changing World - Sarah Tan

Having entered into the third and fourth day of STEP, I have learnt a whole lot of very interesting and thought-provoking issues which I doubt can be expounded on in this space. Thus, I will pen down the two amazing things that struck an accord with me. 



On the third day, we gathered in the Trinity Theological College to dwell deep into God's Words. We were brought into 'The Importance of Theological Education for Church Ministry and Social Engagement' by Dr. Simon Chan. It was the latter that spoke to me because I personally love helping others in my own small ways. 
When I first felt the need to be more aware in bringing joy in others through my actions, it was nothing more than a "I should do this because it is right" rather than what it truly means. 


Dr. Chan reminded us on Romans 12:13 that says, "Share with the Lord's people who are in need. Practice hospitality," and on Hebrews 13:2 which states, "Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without  knowing it." 
How true it is when we say that doing good is an expression of Christian hospitality to strangers and Christians. I believe our actions are our thoughts manifested and as others cannot testify to our thoughts, but surely they can testify to our actions. 


Dr. Chan also made a statement that if social work reflects the goodness and love of God, social engagements with societal issues reflects the righteousness and justice of God. 
Therefore, I feel that ultimately, we do good to others because it reflects the image of God in us. As for me, this is what I want to be; More and more like Him. 



Moving on, on the fourth day we were soaking in the abundance of God's teachings in the Singapore Bible College. Dr. Calvin Chong led us through the topic on 'Youth Ministry in Transition' which I found the most interesting of all talks for today. He rightly points out that the world is in its peak of transition and acknowledges the challenges that we face and the certain responses the youth ministries need to take into consideration.

He used the example of the Choluteca River Bridge in southern Honduras after Hurricane Mitch devastated the area. What happened after the Hurricane was that the river was shifted off the boundaries of what the bridge covered. 

This can also reflect how the world is in its rapid transition and the position of where churches are at. The shifted river represents the fast changing globalised world and the river bridge then represents the traditional religious institutions. 


This is very true because it is an obvious problem that surfaces in, I believe most if not all, churches especially in Singapore. We are so easily and quickly influenced by the forces of this world that the churches are having a hard time to adapt and keep up, as well as to teach us the right, holy and godly way of living when the world shouts at us otherwise. 
And once this problem becomes serious enough to act as an excuse, we see people leaving and this is a very sad situation. I have seen this happen before in my home church and others, and it is my prayer that I may be able to reach out to those who have left and bring them back.

Sarah Tan

Presbyterian Disctinctive and God's Faithfulness - Sarah Tan

Having been through the first two days in STEP, I must say that I am really looking forward to the rest of the programme!



To start off, Joshua Woo made clear to us the Presbyterian Distinctive which I found rather assuring as a Presbyterian. They are Mission and Church Planting, Literacy and Education as well as Reforming based on Scripture. It further strengthens my knowledge about my own identity as a Presbyterian. 

Also, one of my church member, Adriel, shared with me that the word "presbytery" comes from the Greek word "presbyteros", which means "elders". And that was rather interesting as I have never dug deep into what exactly do the words "Presbyterian" or "Presbytery" means. 



The question that strikes us most often is, 'What does being a Christian or a Believer mean?' rather than the specifics of our own denomination. So the speakers on the second day of STEP have brilliantly expounded on the Presbyterian history and what does being a Presbyterian mean, which I have greatly benefited from. 

And I think it is really important to know what being a Presbyterian means. And how we may have certain practices that are different from other denominations. 


Personally I have came across friends who question about Presbyterianism and how it differs from Catholism, of which the school I attended in Primary and Secondary level believed in, and of the Methodist or Baptist faith, where many of my friends in the prayer point in my Junior College believes in. I believe the answers that I have now are much clearer than the muffled thoughts I had previously. 



In the past 2 days, I have learnt many important things. However, one that really stood out was that God is really so faithful! Dr. Lee Soo Ann enlightened us on how the British won the Chinese in the first opium war which brought about a revelation in the Chinese community where there were many converts. This happened in 1839-1842, which till date 2014, has been more than 170 years, and we can look back in history (and in awe and amazement of God) and testify the good works God has installed for us in the coming ages. Surely He is a faithful God who has never, and will never, leave us nor forsake us. 

Also, what spoke to me, was the fact that the conversion of many Chinese during the first opium war was not by the most peaceful means.

This reminds me that all of us may have a rough start in something but eventually, all will fall into place and we can be sure of His faithfulness and goodness towards each and every one of us! How much more should we raise our arms, wide open, and thank God for being ever so faithful! 

Sarah Tan