Counselling – When Love Creates Unlove - Changzhong

"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?" (Jeremiah 17:9)

Preacher Gideon’s talk on counselling was very eye opening. He outlined the 4 steps that we have to consider carefully, in counselling others. We are to love, know, speak and do. The importance of the first two steps was illustrated by the short exercise of him posing as a pastor who seeks counsel, and the rest of us participants were put on 20 seconds rotation to counsel him. This exercise was very realistic, as it accurately depicted the fast paced nature of counselling, where the counsellor does not have the luxury of time to phrase an answer.

I found his emphasis on ‘Love’ and ‘Know’ when speaking others especially helpful, because oftentimes, in my haste to be of help, I do not actually help them. It is funny, isn’t it? How bad motives can taint good objectives. 

Preacher Gideon’s example was exactly on point, where he posed as a pastor who wanted to be so good that he became bad, because in doing everything himself, he forgot to rely on God. In trying to help the people around me, oftentimes, I allow my arrogance and pride to seep in and taint everything. 

Love means an invitation to them to change and reflect, instead of a dictation of how they should live, where I impose my presumptions, my own world view, and my assumptions upon them. What John Calvin said, that Preacher Gideon reiterated, is so true: The heart is deceitful. It coaxes me into believing that I am right, that what I am doing is justified, when I am simply slipping further and further from who Christ is.

Once again, this brings me back to the foot of the cross. There really is not much good in us. Even that little good is stained by sin. We are so fallen, so totally depraved. But then, all the more we need God. 

It is wondrous, really, that as I progress through STEP, I come to realise just how hateful I can be, and that growing realisation simply motivates me to approach the cross with greater contrition, and greater abandon. There is nothing to lose, and everything to gain.

Changzhong