Now, to briefly go through several interesting points mentioned in the past week. (I am somewhat critiquing it, somewhat.)
Calling is something that you feel, loosely paraphrased, uneasy until you do it; something that you have to do or are compelled to do. That statement, I believe, has struck a chord amongst many of us. A calling is something almost mythical that people of my age search for; something akin to ‘adulthood’ or ‘identity’ if you would accept this lousy comparison. This definition is pragmatic and easy to use, very helpful (personally). I think it encompasses personal conviction, the work of the Holy Spirit and gut feel all into one. In tandem with other external confirmation it should be pretty watertight.
Personally I have been searching for this direction in my life, especially in the choice of university course. Several causes have captured some of my attention but none to the compelling stage yet. I will keep looking (and feeling).
Creation ex chaos is a fascinating concept. Actually, I can scarcely believe this is the first time I heard of it. I like to think of myself as having done some research on this whole creation thing and even though I have thought about the first two verses of the bible and posited the ‘was water created first?’ question, I never thought about it as beyond time and matter. To put it another way, I always thought it was just God creating the heavens and the earth first then straight to day 1 of creation. It encompasses entirely creation of matter and the starting of time (singularity?) no concept of ordering chaos. Surprisingly now that it is mentioned, I do recall many instances of this whole chaos vs order thing though not referring to creation. It is more of an ongoing conflict, something like good versus evil, yin and yang.
I will further investigate this topic. No conclusion here.
Another thing that struck me was that there exists lots and lots of knowledge even in this relatively specific realm of Christianity which is a subset of all knowledge. One then is compelled to feel that amassing all knowledge is such a futile task for our pathetic short lifespans. I guess that would lead to awe and wonder at the being of God which would be the creator of all knowledge and more too. Also makes me feel that an university education would add so little in the grand scheme of things to be accrued such an important place by society. If we are not even able to study finish this world, not even able to understand fully God’s word which is revealed to us, what more God?
I also unearthed a perhaps false fear within myself that I term the fear of future pride. This is in part to the excellent devotions thus far. It sounds really ridiculous but the gist of it is that I am afraid of becoming too proud (Given that I presently am proud. Acceptably proud perhaps?
Not-dangerously-proud would be more accurate.) Instead of feelings of inferiority that hamper service for God and the converse pride with service, there is this possible weird mix of the two that is definitely unhealthy. I shall look into it.
Lastly and quite importantly, I like the constant emphasis on the concurrent theme of being and rationale. I have recently written quite a lot on being as in existing as an entity to itself and its links to the big why. I feel that it was very wisely set up during the first day of devotions to show the big picture on how we should view God and ourselves and all that. I hope I can act according to all these!
Nicholas Khaw
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