Synod Training and Exposure Programme (STEP): Saved By Grace Through Faith Alone

“As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
~ Ephesians 2:1-10

If I am to sum up the essence of what it means to be a Presbyterian, I believe Ephesians 2:1-10 to be the epitome of Presbyterianism belief. In this essay, I will give a summary of the history of Presbyterianism and John Calvin, share my personal thoughts throughout this program and how STEP has impacted me as a Christian.

Presbyterianism emerged in the 16^th Century during the time of Protestant Reformation. These reformed churches were majorly influenced by Huldrych Zwingli (1484 – 1531) and John Calvin (1509 – 1564), whose theological beliefs relied heavily on the authority of the Word of God in Scripture.

John Calvin, who was known to be the most important theologian in the Reformed family, focused mainly on the transcendence of God that He is infinite and is not restricted by the boundaries of space, time, knowledge and power. He also stressed on being Christ-centric where believers are to know that Jesus is God and the redemption work He has done for all. Calvin’s Doctrine also included election and predestination, a topic that is controversial though centuries and even up to this day.

“A 3^rd generation Christian”

I give thanks to God for the precious opportunity to be here at STEP 2018, I am also grateful to my dear brothers and sisters in Christ who have spent time praying together with me for God to make a way for me to be here. I know that God must have a purpose for me to be here, and that this program gave me the exposure and space to strengthen my faith in Christ and affirm my identity as a Presbyterian.

This is a far cry from who I used to be – one who looked like a Christian, but in actuality, lived without any regard or reverence for God. When I was a child, I regularly attend church every Sunday and was the model student in Sunday school, oftentimes answering questions because of the “rich” knowledge of the Bible. But there was one thing I lack – faith. I knew of God’s existence but because I did not have faith, the knowledge seemed fictional. Nothing was real, God was dead to me.

Dead in your transgressions and sins, deserving of wrath

Little did I know that it’s not God, but me who is dead.

“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” ~ Romans 3:23

“For the wages of sin is death” ~ Romans 6:23a

I was spiritually dead in my transgression and sin. Despite having great knowledge of the Bible and being exposed to Christianity at a young age, I did not believe what was said of God and turned a blind eye to what God was doing in my life. With my finite knowledge about life, I wanted to be independent and make “wise” decisions on my own. I was prideful and refused to seek God on any of these decisions I was making. These decisions spiralled down to a long season of (emotional) pain and suffering, but on hindsight, I see that this has been a blessing in disguise. I will share more later J

During this program, there were several instances I find my “old Adam” coming back to haunt me. There were times I have been selfish, reluctant to share or give others what I have, other times where I was prideful, thinking of myself as better than another, and even times where I may have been judgmental towards my fellow interns in this program. I know that this revelation is from the Holy Spirit, steering me towards sanctification. It was painful to see the ugliness of my heart and the helplessness I felt in these emotions, but this realization deepened my gratefulness for God in my life and made me more convinced that no one/nothing else can love me more than Jesus Christ Himself – the only One who loves me in my wretchedness.

Because of His great love & mercy

If love has to be earned, I might spend my entire lifetime attaining it. But this would all be in vain because love can never be earned. Love can only be given. This was shared during a lecture on Presbyterianism: Calvinists believe that God, in His mercy, chose to extend His grace to many to save them from condemnation. He chooses based on His good pleasure and sovereignty. There was nothing in me that is deserving of being chosen, yet in love, He chose me.

Growing up, being the eldest has been very stressful because of the expectations of my parents to set a good example for my siblings and the responsibilities that came along with this status. Love seemed to come with a price tag of being perfect. Acceptance seemed to come with a price tag of being who I am not.

The innate desire for true love and acceptance propelled me to seek human relationships throughout my teenage years. I will often perform beyond expectations, to be the perfect friend, to do what I know best. But each relationship always ended up in rejection, and each rejection pushed me to the extremity of perfection as a new relationship came along. I was so good at being a perfect person that I did not want anyone to know the real me.

Ultimately, it was the cost of a dear friendship that woke me up to reality and allowed me to return to God once again.

“To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial.
To be known and not loved is our greatest fear.
But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God.
It liberates us from pretence, humbles us out of our self-righteousness and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us.”

- Timothy Keller

While I was at STEP, I am reminded that Love has found me in my wretched state, Love has accepted me in my brokenness and Love has loved me since the beginning of time. And today, He wants me to share His love with others who do not know Him. I always thought I knew how to share this love I have received, but it is in participating in the Senior Activity Centre and Healthserve that I realized how shallow and selective my love for people is. May God help me to examine my heart and humble myself to learn from Him what it means to love others with the capacity of God’s love.

Saved by grace through faith, Gift of God

God was gracious to me to have sent me 2 older sisters in Christ when I was at my wits’ end. Through their support, prayers, and counsel, they encouraged me to be in a relationship with Jesus, talking to Him about everything and choosing to trust in Him over myself when making decisions. I was also encouraged to be myself, since God already knew me inside out, past, present and future. Initially, it was very difficult and tempting to go back to my old habits of depending on myself and sourcing for love and acceptance with human relationships, but slowly, I found myself trusting in God more and even notice myself growing in dependence towards God.

Presbyterianism also taught of the term “Limited Atonement” where it is believed that God offers salvation to all but only the Elect will respond. I am thankful that God has given me a second chance to respond, where I have once rejected Him, but because of His grace, I am given another opportunity to respond and say “Yes” to Him. Today, I can trust God to strengthen and sustain me as He will not allow me to fall from grace. My salvation depends on God alone, and the seal of the Holy Spirit guarantees my salvation and that I belong to God. This gives me an assurance that He has got me safe in His hands, in good times and bad. When my faith is feeble and weak, He is strong for me.

Conclusion: God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works

There is still so much to learn, and so much to reflect upon in this program. Being in STEP has been a huge blessing God has given to me as it gives me insight on the rich culture and history of Presbyterian Churches and what it means to be a Presbyterian. I believe that this is a missing piece I need to be convicted of the place I am at, and a call to be faithful in what God has called me to do. As the program comes to an end, it is my earnest prayer that each of us will not forget what we have experienced and learnt here, and that we may continue to be faithful and to keep up the good fight by carrying on the legacy of Presbyterianism and its practices here in Singapore.